Scared to Death

May 25, 2010 in Children & Pregnancy

Scared Young Child Clutching her Teddy

Rula (2: name changed for purposes of anonymity) experienced the unthinkable before her life had hardly begun. Deserted by her mother and left in the care of her father and step-mother, Rula’s world turned upside down. Instead of getting what every single child deserves – a loving home – Rula found herself in a flurry of abuse and neglect.

In harm’s way

Nothing could be more frightening to a child than to hear the yells and screams of parents fighting, let alone watching a parent get beat up. There is no doubt that Rula felt terrorized when witnessing the physical violence inflicted by her father towards her step-mother. To add to their family troubles, their financial situation was also dire as they struggled to have enough money just to put food on the table. It was not very long before the step-mother, who started getting frustrated with her abusive husband, decided to seek revenge in the most gruesome way – lashing out on a helpless, innocent child. Rula was taken to the hospital with a skull fracture after her step-mother threw her against a stone wall.

Not only was the doctor shocked that this child barely escaped death, but he found upon physical examination that Rula had burn marks all other her body. Naturally, the doctor immediately suspected abuse and referred the case to the police while the step-mother adamantly denied she hit her step-daughter, calling this ‘an accident caused by a little devil’.  Nonetheless, the courts concluded that the step-mother abused Rula and refused custody, even to the father, because of his obvious neglect in reporting or stopping the abuse. To date, Rula still resides in a child abuse shelter. This is a true story shared with me by a lawyer who is active in child protection services.

Did Rula stand a chance to live in peace?

Although abuse can happen in any home – any culture, any country, any religion, and any socioeconomic background – there are significant risk factors that can increase the probability of child abuse. Sadly, Rula could not live in peace for her living conditions were an optimal breeding ground for abuse:  living with a non-biological parent (the step-mother); witnessing spousal abuse (father abused the step-mother); history of divorce and separation (biological mother abandoned Rula); money troubles (poverty); high parental stress and marital problems (anxious and depressed parents); and a lack of parenting skills (father neglected to stop the abuse).

Abused children need our help

Children are born powerless and depend entirely on us, as parents, to provide a nurturing, loving and safe haven. Unfortunately, millions of children across the globe are deprived of this basic necessity. The statistics are grim, shocking and frightening: according to a United Nations study in 2006, up to 80 to 98 per cent of children suffer physical punishment in their homes, with one-third or more experiencing severe physical punishment from the use of objects. Children cannot defend themselves and require the public’s help for protection which is why, in 1989, the Convention on the Rights of the Child treaty was born. This monumental event marked the beginning of the international stage to recognize the basic human rights that children everywhere in the world should have: the right to survival; to develop to the fullest; to protect from harm, abuse and exploitation; and to participate fully in family, cultural and social life. It is interesting to know that Somalia and the United States are the only two U.N. members who have not ratified the treaty. Even though children’s rights recently celebrated its 20 year anniversary in 2009, the problem of child abuse is far from over, needs grave attention and should be society’s utmost concern.

A fine line between discipline and abuse

Child abuse is hurting or neglecting a child. It can be physical, emotional or sexual. We have all heard of many parents use physical or corporal punishment (i.e. spanking, smacking or slapping) as a way to correct their children’s behaviors. In fact, many cultures widely accept this approach, as a disciplining tactic, claiming it is for the ‘good of the child’ and not intended to be harmful. To further emphasize the popularity of this approach, as mentioned above from the UN study, 98 per cent constitutes that almost every single child on this planet has experienced some type of physical punishment which is quite alarming. It is probably true that generations of children who were spanked turned out to be just fine, without any mental damage. However, research shows this is not always the case, revealing that children who were spanked were more likely to become adults who are depressed, abuse substances, have more anger, hit their own children, hit their spouses and poorly adjust to adulthood than non-spanked children. In fact, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “Even though spanking may seem to ‘work’ at first, it loses its impact after a while and is, therefore, not recommended.” Another reason not to get too comfortable with using physical punishment (even if you think it is working) as a means of discipline is that parents can easily lose control, especially when frustrated, and may cross the line into child abuse. Try not to get into the habit of using physical measures as a way to teach your children.

Kids will be kids

It is a fact of life that children will misbehave. Children will not always listen – they will give us a hard time during bath, dinner and sleep time. They will push our buttons and they will test us because, frankly, this is their job. We need to understand how their little minds work and the different stages they will pass. For example, some parents do not even know that many children go through a phase of throwing things, biting, pinching, spitting and even lying. Children are unpredictable, changing on a whim from stubborn to helpful; very aggressive to calm; independent to dependent; and annoying to adorable. We need to be aware that children are not expected to behave as adults, and abuse of a child should never be accepted or tolerated. Sometimes parents are raised in a culture where hitting is normal, believe it is necessary to prevent spoiling and is implemented to get children to listen. Sadly, some abused children may not even know that it is wrong to get abused, are afraid of revealing to anybody about their abuse or think that they deserved to be hit.

Signs of abuse (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children)

A child may be abused if he or she is:

  • Always dirty, hungry or inadequately dressed
  • Left in unsafe situations or without medical attention
  • Seems afraid of parents or caregivers
  • Severely bruised or injured
  • Constantly ‘put down’, insulted, sworn at or humiliated
  • Displays sexual behavior which doesn’t seem appropriate for their age
  • Growing up around domestic violence

Note: This list does not include all the signs as there may be other worrisome behaviors or concerning situations that can indicate abuse. Anything unusual in a child should be investigated.

A safe sanctuary

Child abuse is something that can never be forgotten by a child. Sometimes, the emotional scars are so deep that as Herbert Ward puts it:  “Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime”.  Rula must receive intervention immediately, addressing her specific needs on a social, educational, medical and psychological level. As a result, Rula had to be transferred by the Family Protection Department to “Dar-Al-Aman” which is an abuse shelter in Jordan providing her the right tools to assist in her healing. Child abuse is recurring and is not a one-time phenomenon; chances are Rula was abused more than once and nobody seemed to notice. Child abuse should not be ignored and should be reported. It is not fair for Rula to have been on the verge of death before anybody found out that she was abused!

Prevention

“Once child abuse happens, it is more difficult to treat”, says Samia Rizeq, who is the Child Safety Program Director at the Queen Rania Family and Child Center (QRFCC). Stopping abuse is not only about intervention, but also prevention. The idea behind prevention is that when people in the community are infiltrated with knowledge on how to become better parents, then abuse can be dealt with at its core, rather than just putting band-aids on wounds already created. Community centers give children a platform to be heard and according to Rizek, “the more tools for children to freely express themselves, the more protection from abuse.”

Jala, a volunteer (17) at QRFCC, serves as a good role model for all of us when she said, “It is my duty to bring back our children’s rights – I owe it to them.” She is absolutely right for it is not just the duty of the government, police and doctors to protect our children, but also society’s. Children cannot cry out for help and we should be their voice. It is incumbent on every single one of us to be on the lookout for child abuse and stand up for our children. Stopping abuse begins at the grassroots level. Follow your instinct and remember that if something does not feel right, then it is probably not right.

Too Young For Puberty?

May 15, 2010 in Children & Pregnancy

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It would not be unusual finding yourself having the “puberty talk” with your preteen daughter, but what if you are forced to deal with a menstruating nine-year-old who is still playing with Barbie dolls? Instead of worrying about finishing her homework, your daughter must now carry the extra burden of remembering to take a sanitary napkin to school. Coping with puberty is challenging enough, but when girls grow up too fast, it can even prove more difficult.

What age is early?

The “normal” age of puberty ranges from 8 to 13 years of age. However, times have really changed because only when puberty starts before eight is it deemed early. In the 1800’s, girls did not even sprout breasts until age 13 and usually began their periods at 16 years old. In fact, at one point in time, girls who developed breasts at nine years old were perceived as abnormal, but this is no longer the case. The average age for breast development, now, is around nine years old, with menarche (first menstrual period) typically beginning at 12 years.

Another interesting trend is that we are seeing more time elapse between the time that breasts develop and the onset of periods. Whereas, before it typically took about a year for a girl to get her period after developing breasts, now it is not uncommon for three years to go by before the beginning of menstruation.

Even though many studies show that early puberty is noticed all over the world, exact numbers in the Middle East are not found, but the pattern seems to be that one out of every six eight-year-old girls in the USA, Australia and Britain are speeding into puberty.

Puberty 101

The first sign of puberty in girls is usually the development of small bumps in the chest region; however, for a small minority, pubic hair may be the first to show up. You may also notice that your daughter’s skin changes from baby soft to spotty, signally the dreaded beginning of teenage acne.  A stronger body odor is also common. Your daughter will get suddenly taller and put on some weight, particularly in the midsection and hip areas. Do not be surprised if your daughter is not as carefree and becomes more moody. She may have an aggressive attitude, cry easily and be extremely self-conscious. Soon thereafter, your daughter will start her period and will develop underarm hair, which comes towards the end of puberty. The whole puberty process takes about two to three years, but can take longer. It is interesting to note that height growth slows down once the period starts, and as a general rule, a girl will grow no more than six centimeters after her first period.

What is going on?

There is no clear cut answer to why girls are starting puberty earlier, but many scientists blame the widespread exposure to chemicals in our environment.  Dairy and meat products are now treated with hormones; plastic bottles that hold a baby’s milk, although more convenient than glass, may also contain hormone disrupters; soy-based foods may contain components that mimic estrogen, which is the hormone responsible for inducing puberty. Another phenomenon attributing to premature puberty is the rising obesity rates; research shows that overweight girls are 50 per cent more likely to grow breasts early than normal weight girls. Since puberty can cause weight gain, experts have always baffled with which came first. Does early puberty cause weight gain or does weight gain cause early puberty? Just recently, research concluded that being heavy during the early years triggers premature puberty, signifying the importance of weight control even during the toddler years.

Other factors that are linked to early puberty include a low birth weight and weight gain at an early age. Stressing the importance of a healthy father-daughter relationship, it is also interesting to note that psychologists claim that young girls who have a good bond with their fathers might enter puberty later than girls who have an absent association.  Some studies even found that a stressful family environment can cause puberty to kick in early.  Lastly, premature puberty can be due to underlying medical problems; however, experts believe that, in the majority of cases, the cause will never be known.

Treatment

Some studies have shown that girls who enter puberty early may have a higher risk of anxiety, depression, obesity, breast cancer and osteoporosis in adulthood. Also, girls who mature quickly may be tall at first, but after puberty, bone growth usually stops and so they might be short as adults.  Even though it is a good idea to take your daughter to a paediatrician regardless of what age she gets her period, it is advised to consult with a doctor if you notice signs of early puberty.   Treatments are available in order to halt puberty by blocking the production of certain hormones, which gives your child the chance to reach her full height potential and avoid the social ramifications of growing up too fast.

No matter when your child gets her period, make her feel special, give her plenty of praise and shower her with as much love as you can during this difficult phase.

How to deal with early puberty

  • Do not make your child feel insecure about her weight since children who start puberty early are usually heavier than their peers. 
  • Pay attention to teasing at school about early breast development and watch for withdrawal and isolation signs.
  • Do not wait to buy her a bra because you think she is too young; if she needs a bra, buy one.
  • Do not expect her to behave as old as she looks.
  • Provide her with empathy so she does not feel like nobody understands her.
  • Practice patience when it comes to the mood swings, crying outbursts or super sensitive attitude.
  • Read a book about puberty with her which will open the doors of communication.
  • Do not dwell on what triggered the early puberty; the last thing your child needs is to feel like she is abnormal.
  • Be prepared to answer questions.
  • Encourage her to discuss her feelings.
  • Remember that puberty is not a time when children show their appreciation, so don’t expect too much.

Life-Saving Poison Tips

March 15, 2010 in Children & Pregnancy

First aid for Poisoning

  • If child is not conscious or breathing, immediately call emergency paramedics 911
  • Do not attempt to make anyone throw-up unless advised to do so by the Poison Center, physician or Emergency Department
  • Jordan Poison Hotline 109 (landline only); it is worth noting that they are working conscientiously to get the hotline working from mobile phones.

Swallowed poisons

  • Medications: Do not give anything by mouth until you call 109.
  • Non-medications: If patient is conscious, not having convulsions and can swallow, give a small amount of milk then call 109.

Inhaled poisons

  • Immediately get the person to fresh air; avoid breathing fumes; call 109.

Poison on the skin

  • Remove contaminated clothing and rinse skin for at least 5 minutes then call 109.

Poison in the eye

  • Rinse eyes with running water for at least 5 minutes; do not force eyelid open; blink as much as possible while flooding the eye. Call 109.

Insect bites

  • Remove stinger when applicable then call 109; if breathing problems occur call paramedics 911.

Venomous snake bites

  • Do not try to cut or squeeze out the venom; do not use ice; restrict movement and keep the affected area below heart level to reduce the spread of venom; call 109 for instructions and go to nearest hospital.

Too sick for school?

February 24, 2010 in Children & Pregnancy

This is how my son looked when I picked him up from school today.  I am a bit concerned that some staff at my son’s school are not fully informed on the policies of child illnesses and school absences.  When I picked up my son on 24-2-10, his teacher approached me asking me if my son was sick.  Surprised because my son was perfectly fine in the morning and was happy, active and energetic when I saw him, I said, “No, why, he does not look sick?”  I then proceeded to feel his forehead to see if he had a fever and watched him for a few minutes to assess why she thought my son was ill.  He was jumping around like a normal 3 year old.  Kids when they are sick, especially at that age, are cranky, lethargic, feverish and lose their appetite (my son had none of these symptoms).  I frankly got confused so she tells me that mothers are complaining about my child being sick and that I should take him to the doctor.  Now, other mothers are the ones dictating when a child should or should not go to school.  Parents who merely step in and out for a few minutes to pick up their own children can asses that quickly if my child is sick?!  Especially that when I saw him that afternoon, he was jumping around like a little monkey in the jungle gym.  Clearly, he did not look ill.

I think after 12 years of advising people when they should see a doctor versus self-medicating their children,  I am well aware when my child needs a doctor, not to mention, I have 2 other older children.  The teacher proceeds to tell me, “Well if he is not sick, then get a note from the doctor that he has allergies.”  I responded, “Why would I have to do that?”  She replies, “Because your child has a runny nose.”  She was insinuating that I needed  clearance from the doctor for my son to attend school for his completely clear slightly dripping nose.

If I kept my toddler home every time he had a runny nose or the sniffles, I do not think he would ever go to school.  If preschools were going to send kids home based on runny noses alone, with no fever, then they should just shut down, because there would not be enough children to attend!  Colds can take 2 weeks to go away and that is why most schools adopt a policy that fevers exclude children from school, not merely runny noses.

Theoretically viruses can spread for 2 weeks because cough and runny nose last that long, but with proper hygienic practices, it can be prevented.  It is not feasible to keep a child home until he is “germ-free.”  This is why hand-washing in preschools is so important to prevent spreading of germs.  It is also not too early to teach kids to cough and sneeze in their sleeves, not their hands; to throw tissues away immediately and to avoid touching their eyes, nose and mouth.  If we were to wait for the child’s nose to completely dry, then he would not be allowed to return to school for at least 2 weeks (the time a runny nose goes away with a cold).  Runny noses are caused by allergies, dust, flowers, cold viruses and even cold weather!

Kids are usually sent home for fevers and are not allowed to return until the fever is gone for 24 hours.  They do not say that they are not allowed to return until the runny nose is gone!  Kids get about 8 to 12 colds a year.  Runny noses last about 2 weeks.  Assuming your child got 12 colds that year; he would miss 6 months out of the year!  Just a runny nose without a fever is not a reason to stay home; if it was, daycares would not exist because toddlers and runny noses go hand in hand.

Even if my son had a cold; he had no fever and he was not sneezing or coughing; his nose was only slightly dripping.  This means that he cannot attend school and needs a note that he has allergies?  So, if my son is not diagnosed with allergies, he cannot return to school because his nose is dripping from the remnants of a cold?  I think none of my kids would be in school if I had to wait for their noses to be completely dry!  Here is a quote straight from the Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, “Children who don’t have a fever and only have a mild cough, runny nose or other cold symptoms can be sent to school without any harm to themselves or others.  A runny nose is the way many children respond to pollen, dust or a cold virus.  Minor cold or allergy symptoms should not be a reason to miss school.” You see, I do not need a note from the doctor stating my son had allergies, because even if he had a cold (as long as there is no fever), there is no reason he should not go to school.

So, when does your child need to stay home?

Your child should stay home if he has:

  • A fever higher than 38 degrees Celsius
  • Vomited more than once
  • Diarrhea
  • A very frequent cough
  • Persistent pain (ear, stomach, etc.)
  • A widespread rash

Tips for poison prevention

February 15, 2010 in Children & Pregnancy

Stay safe

  1. Keep poisons and medications in original containers.
  2. All potentially toxic substances should be kept out of children’s reach (including toothpastes, cigarettes, dirty ashtrays, mouthwashes, gasoline and household cleaners).
  3. Never put poisons in food or drink containers.
  4. Always keep poisons in child-resistant bottles, as they are more difficult to open.  Given enough time, however, children can still open them!
  5. Any child-accessible cabinet that contains poisons should have locks or safety latches.
  6. Never put medications in your purse or in your bedside drawers.
  7. Discard expired medications safely; the best way is to take them to a nearby pharmacy; do not throw in open trashcans in the bathroom or kitchen where your child can access them.
  8. Do not keep poisonous plants in your garden or home.
  9. Never store kerosene, chemicals, medications, and household cleaners in the same area as food.
  10. Make sure that heating systems, water heaters, and any other fuel burning appliances are vented properly to avoid seepage of carbon monoxide in your homes.  Carbon monoxide is called the silent killer because it is odorless, invisible and deadly.

You should …

  • Avoid calling medicine “candy”.
  • Avoid taking medications in front of your children because they will imitate you!
  • Always check the floor for any dropped medicine pills after taking medication.
  • Watch your child in other people’s homes, especially at jido and teta’s because those homes might not be poison-proofed.
  • Empty all ashtrays and keep all tobacco products away from children.
  • Never let anything interrupt you while giving your child medicine; distractions such as phone calls or doorbells, can cause you to inadvertently leave opened bottles of medicine within the reach of children.
  • Discard any toys that have chipped paint and do not let your child put any toys or jewellery coated with paint in her mouth.
  • Never let a young child play with magnetic toys.
  • Unload anything potentially dangerous from your grocery bag before doing anything else.

Teach your child that …

  • She must always ask an adult before they eat, taste or drink anything.
  • She should never sniff something or rub anything on her skin without asking an adult.
  • Many poisons look like food or drink.
  • Poisons can cause sickness or even death.
  • She should never eat plants, flowers, berries and fruits from the garden or outside because they may be poisonous.
  • Scorpions hide in dark quiet places, such as under rocks, stones, closets, basements and even sleeping bags.
  • Hand-sanitizers should not be put in mouths and to use a small amount; explain that it should only be used if soap and water are unavailable.
  • Only a pea-size amount of toothpaste should be used and that it should not be swallowed; explain that it is good for her teeth, not her stomach!
  • She must not walk barefoot outside to avoid bites and stings.
  • Older siblings should watch out for their younger siblings; tell them to act as another pair of eyes and to take dangerous products away from younger children and to report anything suspicious to you.


Poison-Proof your Home

January 14, 2010 in Children & Pregnancy

Prevention is better than cure, and this is especially true of poisoning.  Despite the fact that some cases can be treated at home after consulting a poison prevention center, others may require emergency medical treatment, and sadly for some, the case may result in death.  Even though accidents may happen no matter how careful you are, there is certainly a great deal you can do to reduce the chances of this happening to your child.

Moments matter
Just imagine the panic you would feel if you caught your child holding an open bottle of cough syrup and saying ‘juice’ or carrying your prescription pills and saying ‘candy’.  Knowing that seconds matter in such situations, the fear that engulfs you, in all likelihood, will be overwhelming and frustrating, just like the difficult-to-answer questions that will probably occur to you at that moment.

It is not always easy to know whether your child is okay, if any medicine was swallowed or even worse, how much was swallowed.  Accidental poisoning is a major health threat for children and equipping yourself with preventative measures is the best way to keep your child safe.

Curiosity puts children at risk

A child is notoriously curious and enjoys exploring every nook and cranny.  Consequently, a  child often puts himself  in harm’s way, as there is not one closet, cabinet, shelf or drawer your child does not try to get into; these places are often filled with chemicals and products that look appealing to a child who cannot wait to taste them.  You should always assume that your child will eat anything because his innate drive to explore his environment will not stop him from meddling with unsafe things – It is extremely difficult for your child to differentiate between safe and unsafe.

Saving lives

According to the National Drug and Poison Information Center (NDPIC) in Jordan, young children are at greatest risk of getting poisoned as 42 per cent of cases involve children under the age of five years.  According to their statistics, the top five most common exposures in Jordan, starting with the highest in descending order are (1) drugs; (2) bites and stings; (3) household products; (4) gas; and (5) pesticides.

The Center, founded in 2004 and located in Jordan University Hospital, serves not only as a resource for drug and poison information, but also saves lives by providing round-the-clock, free-of-charge assistance to those involved in poisoning accidents.  It also advises callers whether or not hospital treatment is indicated. “Around 90 per cent of callers to the poison center are medical professionals, such as pharmacists, doctors and nurses and we are only a phone call away for anybody in the community to get help by dialing hotline (109) toll-free landline only,” states Aida Al-Fwadleh, a poison specialist at NDPIC.

According to Reem Abu Tayeh, a toxicologist, raising awareness and educating school-age children about poisons lurking in the home is vital. “In 2005, NDPIC started an outreach program in which more than 40 schools in Amman were visited with the bigger aim of parents and teachers to hear about the center’s services through the children,” Abu Tayeh points out.

How poisons enter the body

  1. Ingestion:  such as household products, plants, drugs.
  2. Inhalation:  such as carbon monoxide gas, pesticides.
  3. Injection:  such as venomous bites and stings from animals or insects.
  4. Absorbtion:  such as chemicals that cause damage to the skin, eyes and mucous membranes through direct contact.

Hidden dangers

A child may mistake poisons in the home as food or drink.  For example, mothballs, which are commonly used to repel mildew and moths, contain a deadly toxin called naphthalene; your child may mistake these poisonous round balls for sweets and eat them, with fatal results.  Other hidden dangers include poisonous plants, household cleaning products and detergents.  A child could also mistake laundry detergent for icing sugar; rubbing alcohol for water; ammonia for lemonade; glue for frosting; and brown paint for pudding.  According to Suhad Al-Khassawneh, a poison specialist at NDPIC, a common mistake parents make is when they transfer dangerous chemicals (kerosene, paint, household cleaners and the like ) from their original containers to ones that were previously used for food or drink (water bottles, soda cans, cups and so forth); this poses a great hazard to our children.

Poisonous toys

You may think they are harmless, but the tiny, disc-shaped button batteries used to power many toys such as musical baby books and toy cell phones can be dangerous.  They contain toxic chemicals that can cause severe internal burns if they get stuck in a child’s body when swallowed.  Just hope for the best possible outcome, which is that your child passes the ingested battery quickly through his stool before any damage occurs.  However, sometimes the battery gets stuck in the body and therefore it is always advisable to contact a poison center if you find out that your child has swallowed a button battery.  In addition, many toys and children’s costume jewelry are coated with paint that contains lead.  Children get lead poisoning from putting these items in their mouths.  Lead poisoning in children can easily go unnoticed because there may not be any visible symptoms at all; this does not mean that no damage has occurred as even very low levels of lead can cause inconspicuous symptoms, such as slower brain development and behavioural problems in children.

Did you know that …

  • More than 90 per cent of poison exposures occur in the home.
  • The most venomous sting of a scorpion occurs at the beginning of summer in Jordan.
  • Out of 34 species of snakes in Jordan, only seven are poisonous.
  • Paracetamol-containing products rank as the number one cause of drug poisoning cases in Jordan.
  • Oleander and Castor bean plants, abundant in Jordan, are extremely poisonous:  swallowing one leaf can kill a child!
  • Vitamins with iron are often mistaken for candy and this can be lethal to a child.
  • Burning ordinary fuels in an enclosed tent, room or space can kill you, without even knowing it, because the poisonous carbon monoxide fumes that get released are odourless and colourless.
  • Toddlers can get seriously ill if ingestion of more than one cigarette or three cigarette butts occurs.
  • Swallowing more toothpaste than the amount used for brushing can make a child sick because it contains a toxin called fluoride, and depending on the weight and age of the child, consuming even as little as half of a tube can be fatal.
  • Alcohol-based hand sanitizers can be toxic if ingested; therefore, your child should use them under supervision.


The Fear of Lice

January 14, 2010 in Children & Pregnancy

Layla receives the shameful phone call from the school’s principle: “Madam, please pick up your daughter Nour, we found lice in her hair”. Feeling like a terrible mom, Layla gets in her car as thoughts start racing through her mind:  “Perhaps I don’t bath Nour enough? Maybe I need to clean more? Could it be from the new maid?  Maybe the public swimming pool?  Maybe the girl
who came over with greasy looking hair? Perhaps the animals when we visited the farm?  Maybe the olive trees by our house? Maybe the cat she pet? Who else knows that Nour has lice?”

Feeling like a negligent mother, blaming everything under the sun as a cause for Nour’s lice, and the undue panic that Layla experienced is a common response in our society.  In fact, Layla and her whole family may be shunned by the entire community, feel ashamed and even isolated in a quest to prove high personal hygiene.  People might not send their kids to Layla’s house for play dates or discourage their children to play with Nour. This stigma can be quite devastating for any family and very damaging to the self-esteem of parents and children. In this article, I will dispel the common myths regarding lice and its treatment.

Myth #1: Lice infestations occur in people who are dirty.

Not true. Lice do not discriminate and can live happily on both dirty and clean hair. Although it is a popular belief, being affected by lice is not a measure of cleanliness. It is an absolute myth that only dirty oily hair attracts lice; squeaky clean hair is paradise for lice providing easier attachment. In fact, home remedies to keep lice away include adding olive oil, coconut oil or rosemary oil to hair shampoos providing slipperiness and causing difficulty for lice to stick on the hair.

Myth #2: Domestic helpers transmit lice.

Oftentimes schools and parents quickly blame the maid as the source of lice, because they incorrectly associate head lice with the stigma of poverty and poor personal hygiene. Lice do not care how much money is in your wallet or about your ethnicity.  Anybody can get lice regardless of their socioeconomic class.

Myth #3: Swimming pools transmit lice.

Lice can’t swim, fly or jump; lice can only crawl.   Head lice are deprived of oxygen when they are in water so they cling tightly to the hair and shut down. They do not let go and float to someone else’s hair, making lice transmission in the water highly unlikely.

Myth #4: Animals transmit lice.

You cannot get head lice from animals.  Animals have fleas but do not carry lice; lice only live on human scalps and not on animals.

Myth #5: Olive or fruit trees and grass transmit lice.

Not true.  Lice do not live in or spontaneously generate from air, trees or dirt.

How did Nour get lice?

Not surprisingly, Nour is at increased risk of getting lice since girls are 2-4 times more frequently infested than boys. Possible explanations include girls display more affectionate behavior, such as hugging, increasing hair to hair contact and play dress up leading to the sharing of combs and brushes which are vehicles for transmitting lice.  Long flowing hair also makes hair more easily accessible to touch infected hair.  Head lice is caught by 2 ways: 1) direct physical head to head contact with an infested individual and 2) indirectly via sharing combs, brushes, hats, scarves, bedding and swimming towels.

Layla is embarrassed to tell anybody that Nour has lice.

Remember, lice can be a nuisance but is not a disgrace. One of the biggest challenges in eliminating lice is the parent’s discomfort in talking about the subject.  Failing to inform close members in the community can cause a vicious cycle of your child getting lice over and over again. The best way to defeat lice is by sharing information. Lice thrive in a hush-hush environment.  Early detection and education are key components in combating lice.

How can Layla prevent Nour from getting lice again?

She can’t unless Nour lives in a vacuum!   However, you can take precautionary measures by:

  • Avoiding head to head contact during playful activities such as sports, sleepovers, camp.
  • Pulling long hair back in a pony tail or braid.
  • Checking frequently your child’s hair to detect lice early and treat promptly.
  • Notifying the school and close contacts immediately to prevent reoccurrence; do not secretly treat the head lice.
  • Teaching your child not to share combs, brushes, scarves, hair accessories, hats, headphones, towels, bedding, clothing or other personal items.

“How can Nour get rid of lice?”

Layla should not panic! Concentrate on treating the head instead of scrubbing the entire house because head lice do not survive long if they fall off of a person.  Here are 3 steps to treat lice.

1.    Kill the lice by using a medicated shampoo for lice.  Do not pre-wash with regular shampoo before using the lice medicine and do not re-wash hair for one to two days after treatment. Repeat treatment in 1 week to kill any remaining hatched lice eggs.

2.   Comb out lice debris by using a fine-toothed comb to physically remove any live or dead lice.

3.   Prevent lice from spreading – Brushes, combs, and hair pieces should be soaked in boiling hot water for 10 minutes. Pillow cases, bed sheets and clothes worn the past 2 days should be machine washed on hot cycle. Anything that cannot be washed can be tied in a garbage bag and put away for 10 days which will kill any lice and eggs.